Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
