before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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