WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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