brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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