i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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