Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
BRING THE BAGELS
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
