I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
