he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
