Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
