it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
