Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
