yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
