I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
