fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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