doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
