Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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