I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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