11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he thought i was a dude.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
