he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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