I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
