3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
