Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
time to smoke my breakfast
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
