Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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