I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
