Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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