Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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