I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's always time for handjobs
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
