I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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