Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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