no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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