my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
