Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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