Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
