dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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