did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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