No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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