There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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