At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
