You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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