i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
