I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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