Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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