You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
