in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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