do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
