She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
