Well apparently he's into motor boating.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
