i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
