Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
