Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
