somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
